Band Quotes:
Joel: We're in a band called Good Charlotte
Benji: Yes. Joel likes to mention this every time.
Joel: (acts stupid for distraction)
Benji: Dude, get serious. We're gonna get fired.
Joel: about 3/4 of our band is vegetarian so
Mike & Bob: that’s cool
Paul: I'm the only carnivore.
Mike: I figured it was you Paul
Paul: Yeah, I didn't get this physic from eating vegetables (laughs)
Bob: Do they say snide comments to you like 'way to go' or ' how’s your stake murderer?'.
Joel: Yeah murderer, how’s it feel?
(All laugh)
Benji: Heyyy, welcome back to All Things Rock, we're from the band Good Charlotte. There Joel, I said it!
Joel: Thank you.
Joel: I think if they had a California music award for show hosts, we'd win.
Benji: True! I think so too. We're really good. Well let's check out the video, and while the video is playing we can talk about how good we are amongst ourselves.
Benji: (While reading a post from the ATR Message Board) we also agree that Benji is the best host.
Joel: (actually believes it says that and looks at paper)
Joel: Go to the MTV All Things Rock message board.
Benji: And tell me how great I am!
Joel: Welcome to All Things Rock, I'm Joel.
Benji: And I'm Benji.
Joel: Yeah unfortunately.
Joel: Well you can go to mtv.com, you can go to the message board there
Benji: Don't forget to do that.
Joel: OR you could go to Good Charlotte.com, there's a message board there too!
Benji: Hey GC kids. *Waves*
Joel: Go to mtv.com and tell us what you think of the show.
Benji: And what you think of Joel, and if he should really be on this show.
Joel: That's right.
Joel: Matt filled in for him last year when he got injured in a mugging.
Benji: A mugging?
Joel: Yes, a mugging.
Benji: .I don't know anything about it.
Joel: Every band dreams of that. I know our band does; we don't have a platinum record!
Benji: We've got platinum teeth man, sup wit that?!
Benji: I started buying records kinda late. I got Nirvana's "Never mind", Rancid's first record, Joel got MC Hammer.
Joel: *shrugs* can’t lie.
Joel: I really love Dashboard, if you don't have the cd you should really check it out.
Benji: Joel listens to it and just cries, and sobs. tears of heartbreak.
Benji: I like dark videos, I got Frankenstein on my shirt.
Joel: *confused look because Benji is random*
Joel: Welcome back to All Things Rock. I'm Joel and this is Benji.
Benji: Yes, I am Benji. But I am also the giver of information!
Benji: Welcome back to the best show on MTV, and we are the best hosts!
Joel: You're very confident.
Benji: Yes! I am the best.
Joel: Hey, you're watching All Things Rock and I'm one half of your hosts, Joel.
Benji: Yes, and I am the better half, Benji.
Benji: We are back!
Joel: Back.
Benji: Back.
Joel: Back.
Joel: What do you think Benj?
Benji: ahh, shut up kid!
Benji: You know, personally, I haven't had any problems with being married and being on tour.
Joel: You're not married.
Benji: .oh
Joel: You never will be married.
Benji: (talking about buying a cd) you can go to your local Target store
Joel: Tarjayyy
Benji: Yes, I used to work at Target. Uhh. Long story, I got fired for painting a tuxedo on my naked body at a company function. The punch spilled, it was a mess.
Joel: Bad story.
Benji: Bad story.
Joel: I told you we knew NFG! I told you!
Benji: We weren't lying.
Chad from NFG: See this is what its all about.(shakes Joel's hand and gives Benji a hug, Chad's about a foot taller than Benji, he looks like a little boy hugging his dad).
Chad from NFG: All Things Rock! All Things Rock! (picks up some rocks and starts throwing them at Joel)
Benji: (responding to a post) I just want to say that if I was on the message board, if I do post, my name would be a lot cooler than All Things Benji. Sorry, it’s not me.
Joel: Once again, people are surfing the net on someone else's
Benji and Joel: someone else's surfboard. (both look at each other and giggle)
Benji: I sorta feel like when people compare me to Joel, even though he's my twin, its like kicking me in the face and then punching me again.
Joel: Well when people compare me to you its like.
Benji: (interrupts) Let's play the video.
Joel: (makes a face because he can't think of anything)
Benji: And the next video comes from Joel's favorite band in history, Default.
Joel: (look of surprise)
Benji: I'm Benji, this is my brother Joel, and you're watching my show. (skip ahead to the post)
Joel: Why don't you just go ahead and read it since you're running things right now. Since you don't do anything else.
Benji: Thank you my brother for finally recognizing!
Joel: Well my grandmother is a big fan of Good Charlotte. We're for the grannies.
Benji: My grandma watches the show so Hi Grandma! I e-mail with her.
Joel: Hi Grandma, We love you!!! (they both wave)
Joel: Let's dedicate the next video to our grandma.
Benji: Well, let's take a look at Papa Roach's She Loves Me Not, and Joel. please don't sing along.
Joel: WORD!
Joel: Anthony Keidas (of red hot chili peppers), good guy, I know him personally.
Benji: No you don't.
Joel: (talks about how the song is a true story about Anthony's break up)
Benji: It wasn't working out, I had to let him go. (trying not to laugh)
Joel: You broke up with him?
Benji: (smiles) YES!
Joel: Whatever dude.
Benji: It's ok, cause now he can be rich, he's got a hit!
Benji: I found a shocking one.
Joel: It IS a shocking one.
Benji: "First of all, I want to say that those wannabe punk rockers from Good Charlotte are the worst hosts I've ever laid my eyes on." (Joel looks at the paper and makes a shocked face). "I don't think that they should be able to be on TV in the first place. Why don't MTV just find any bum off the street and give them a job to host a crappy rock show."
Joel: (silent pause) well, my mom always told me there would be haters, just keep doing your thing. Not everyone can love ya.
Benji: I . I don't even know what to say. I'm really hurt.
Joel: I wouldn't get a bum off the street though. You guys remember Jesse Camp?
Benji: You couldn't understand a word he was saying.
Joel: You couldn't understand "Ahyyahhayyahha Jesse Camp"
Benji: (talking about people requesting a song a lot) which means Joel here has been spending a lot of time on his laptop. A-HA! (total fake laugh)
Joel: Shut up.
Benji: I have my foot on the monitor.
Joel: Thats right, Benji is doing the big rock star move.
Benji: Hey everyone this is All Things Rock, I'm Scott Stapp. (smiles) I'm just kidding, I'm Benji and this is Joel. (Benji starts cracking up laughing!)
Joel: What do you think of that Scott?
Benji: I think that's great, Joel.
Joel: I'm Joel and this is Benji
Benji: I'm Joel and this is Benji.
Joel: (keeps talking)
Benji: (shrugs his shoulders) I thought it was funny.
Joel: That's right. it wasn't funny, he is never funny. (goes back to talking)
Benji: (makes this funny face and starts doing "the robot")
Joel: We'll still be on the Warped Tour.
Benji: Still having not showered for weeks.
Joel: Weeks on end.
Benji: (lifts up his arm and stiffs his armpit, makes a disgusted face)
Benji: Hey kids, do not change the channel or I will kill you. (Joel is laughing and shaking his head)
Joel: No, its alright he is not going to kill you, he couldn't kill anything. (Benji just stares at him)
Joel: And don't forget.
Benji: .to give me lots of compliments.
Joel: Give him lots of compliments. he needs it.
Benji: (nods his head in agreement)
Joel: (speaking to the band Quarashi) Do you guys ever get tired of Benj trying to sleep on your bus?
Quarashi: Sometimes
Joel: It gets old, I know, I have to be on the bus with him.
Benji: Hey! What can I say? I'm a fan.
Joel: We're on the tour all summer long with these guys. We actually shower together and stuff, it's great.
Benji: (talking about the lead singer) I actually borrowed his underwear yesterday, it was awesome. I'll give it back to you later.
Joel: We're standing here on this mosaic--
Benji: I made a mosaic in fifth grade out of noodles.
Joel:. very famous -- that's nice, Benj'.
Benji: They're going to be in LA
Joel: (gets in Benji's face, almost stunned like) LOS ANGELES???
Benji: Yes.
Joel: HOLLYWOOD?
Benji: Have you seen Kid Rock's new beer commercial?
Joel: No.
Benji: It made me want to drink soda
Joel: *stares blankly*
Benji: Was that funny?
Joel: No.
Joel: .and this is from their '97 album, 'Nimrod'
Benji: Whoa! that's the year I graduated high school!
Joel: Yes it is.
Benji: (looks at camera) see! I told you guys I graduated!
Benji: (reading a post) Benji and Joel, can you guys hug?
(Both pause and look at each other)
Benji: No.
Joel: Nope.
Benji: Moving on to the next video.
Joel: So watch the VMAs, hosted by Jimmy Fallon
Benji: My friend.
Joel: You've never met him, you don't know him, he's not your friend.
Benji: Then that's my award.
Joel: No its not.
Benji: He's got those fake tattoos I don't know if I'm down with that. Ya see, these aren't real.
Joel: Yeah, but he could.
Benji: Kick my ass? Yeah I'm sure he could.
(talking about Vin diesel and his fake tattoos)
Joel: Hey everyone, welcome back. I'm Joel, and this is my brother Benji.
Benji: Yes, the rumors are true, we ARE related.
Benji: (talking about lead singer of the White Stripes) he says he doesn't have any ASSperations to become a big movie star.
Joel: He doesn't have any ASSperations?
Benji: No.(continues talking about him) I've got ASSperations!
Joel: You do??
Benji: of being, like, one of those guys in the civil war movies that dies, like right away.
Joel: We're doin' this spankin' new style this week.
Benji: Spankin' new style?
Joel: Spankin' new, yo.
Benji: Word.
Joel: Word. So anyway, we're here with--
Benji: Wait a minute, you're not making fun of hip-hop are you?
Joel: No, no!
Benji: Good, cause I'll break you, fool.
Joel: *says something about some video director*
Benji: He also directed Christina Aguliera's video for "Dirrty" the best video in the history of videos ever!! Ever."
Benji: You probably shouldn't punch the floor on stage while you're angry.(points to Joel) you should punch your brother, that's what brothers are for, you should hit your brother.
Joel: Well, I'm speechless.
(Benji and Joel talking to The Halo Friendlies about bowling)
Benji: Do you like heavy balls?
Natalie: Medium balls.
Joel: You know, kids, it's important when you bowl, to use the right size balls. Ya know the balls are really the most important part of the game.
Benji: Balls are important aren't they?
Benji: They said the track was written about the overwhelming temptations of stardom.
Joel: I know I get overwhelmed.
Benji: You're not a star.
Joel: Oh yeah.
Benji: (stops talking and listens to announcer in bowling alley) they just called for the ball boy, Joel.
Joel: Gotta go! *walks off set*
Benji: (talking about his equipment).which you probably can't see 'cause of a lot of stains from fruits and tomatoes and other various items thrown at me while I'm on stage.
Joel: People hate you.
Benji:.small children. midget parts.
Joel: People must really hate you.
Benji:.I am, I'm not a very loved man in this country am I?
Interviewer: So Benji, I hear you love Kasey Chambers
Benji: Yeah-
Joel: (rips microphone out of interviewer's hands) Man, he wants to love ALL of Kasey Chambers, if you know what I mean
Benji: -laughs and looks guilty- Yeah
Benji: YAYAYAYAYAYAYA BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! (screaming)
Billy: (laughs) That was an escaped llama.
Paul:.[looks behind us] What are you doing? Why am I doing two interviews and you're not doing any?
Joel: I'm filming you for our DVD. Say hi to the DVD.
Paul: Um, hi DVD.
(When Benji was asked what Joel was hopeless at)
Joel: At least you didn't say girls.
Benji: Nah, you're getting better with girls.
Joel: You guys got make up?
Billy & Paul: Yea.
Joel & Benji: Aww!!
Benji: Doin whatever we wanna do, sayin whatever we wanna say.
Joel: Makin fun of people.
Benji: Yes we are!
Fan: What's your newest tattoo and where is it?
Benji: Hm. my newest tattoo that I can show you.
Joel: Ooooo.
Benji: Now Joel, our family wasn't bad was it?
Joel: Ah no, it was perfect!
Benji: Perfect, we don't have any problems. We're not weird at all. We're not screwed up at all!
Benji: Ahh the memories, it seems like it was only last week.
Joel: It was only last week
Benji: I know, you're not supposed to say that. That was the whole point of the joke!
Joel: Bush
Benji: (starts laughing hysterically)
Joel: Lets go to a commercial (confused look)
Benji: I heard about you at the bar last night, Paul. there's gonna be shaving cream to your head!
Joel: any- Benji: shhhheee!! (imitating squirting shaving cream)
Joel: sor- Benji: shhhheee!!
Joel: BENJI!!
Benji: What do you think of that Billy?
Billy: (in scared voice) Spoooky!!
Benji: "I like rock stardom. You can have girls flash you for free and have girls actually want to make out with you. But then again some guys want to make out with Joel"
Joel: "Yea I am the man's man. Benji, you're the lama's man"
Benji: "Maybe so, but I get more action than you do"
Joel: "Actually you don't because as far as I will tell anyone, we are both still virgins and probably will be until our twelve-year-old fans become 18 and meet us when we are like 29"
Benji: "Hey girls, in six years I will be free so come propose anytime so I can lose my big V"
Joel: "Uhh I think they'd be more experienced than you"
Benji: "I doubt it. I have a blow up doll and you"
Joel: "Dude that was wrong"
Benji: "But so VERY true" (fake laughs)
Joel: "Uhh no"
(both argue and keep saying yes no yes no yes no)
Benji: "We will be back with more rock videos in a few, but first let's go to MTV news"
Joel :(right before Ian came on TV) "Newsflash, Benji is an idiot"
"Every single FRICKIN time I go anywhere these little girls come up to me and go "AAH WHERES YOUR TWIN JOEL AT?" and so now I just kinda go "Joel who? Who are you talking about?"
- Benji on being recognized in public
"And now we're back"- (Benji and Joel at exact same time)
"Yes, we are twins, isn't it so cute?"-Benji
"The All-American Rejects have a story for us here"-Benji (all American rejects say something about rocking balls and Mike busting his head on a speaker)
"Aha nice one" -Joel.
"You guys cannot top my story. See? Once I was rocking balls in my bedroom and my mom came in and caught me" -Benji
"That's a nice story Benji."-Joel (All Things Rock)
Paul: "This is Paul."
Joel: "I'm Joel"
Benji: "And BRAD spelled backwards is DARB."
Torie (interviewer): "Okay cool, Well just for my general knowledge, did your parents dress you and Benji alike?"
Joel: [laughs] "Oh my god yes, up until we were like in 5th or 6th grade they did yeah, after that we kind of developed our own styles."
Torie*interviewer*: "Who would you not ever go on tour with?"
Joel: "Crazy Town."
. Torie: [laughs] "Okay why not crazy town?"
Joel: "Because they suck!"
(Allan and Gina are interviewers)
Allan: "I hear you guys used to play at good ole fashioned barn raisers."
Benji: "But, there was a pay phone down the street so it's all good."
Gina: "Yes, electricity was just a stone's throw away."
Benji: "In the winter we burrowed."
*everyone laughs hysterically*
Benji: "What? That's what they called it."
Joel: "Shut up!"
Benji: "No, it's true. It's like a tradition. All of the families, they get cold and sleep together. They don't like sleep sleep together. It's called burrowing."
Aaron: "I ain't even gonna comment."
Gina: "They generate body heat."
Benji: "How do I know that? I don't know."
Allan: "You and your whole family spooning."
*everyone laughs*
Gina: "Mom, get off me, man. You're hot."
Benji: "Good Charlotte and Allan Scott. Spooning."
Benji: "If you ask Linkin Park if we're friends they'll say yes."
Joel: "They don't even who you are."
Billy: "Do you ever think about sauce pans?"
Joel: "Uhm. No."
Billy: "No, me either."
"I remember when we ah, 3 years back we did the video for or song 'Little Things',I thought it was really cheesy, right along with our first album cover, I thought that was cheesy. So I got the Wisconsin state flag tattooed on my ass." -Benji
"But it didn't work cause since then have been cheesy" - Joel
"Cheesy" -Benji
"Well damn it sucks to be us, huh?!"-Joel (Joel and Benji talkin about good luck tattoos)
Fan: "Joel!! Take off your shirt!"
Joel: "How 'bout you take off yours?"
Billy: "Nice moves Paul!"
Paul: "Thank you, they're pretty good"
Little Kid: "Hey Benji, will you sign my report card?"
Benji: (looks around, tries not to laugh) "Wow, that's really good!"
Paul: "St. Paul is not gay!! He's very, very straight."
Aaron: "Ok, buddy, whatever you want to believe."
Paul: "You're really starting to hurt my feelings."
Joel: "This song is about quitting school, quitting work, quitting everything and starting a band. A punk rock band, a ska band, any kind of band. But what do you gotta do if you wanna start a boy band?"
Crowd: "You gotta kill one of the ones already out there!"
JOEL: "That's right, because you gotta get in the rotation."
Joel: I've sung to a girl under the stars. A song I wrote for her.
Benji: I sang a girl to sleep
Joel: "The guys in Chevelle say they're having second thoughts about their name, which was taken from the classic Chevy muscle car, the Chevy Chevelle, which I really love."
Benji: "I like the Chevelle."
Joel: "Now why would you question a name like Chevelle?"
Benji: "I don't know. Why?"
Joel: "A cool name like Chevelle, when it could be worse. You could have a band named after a children's book about a little girl. A book you never even read. A book like Good Charlotte. And then you have to answer all these questions about why, what's the significance of your name, when you really don't know, you were just fifteen and you named the band. And now you're bigger."
Benji: "And you got a mohawk and tattoos and you're named after a little girl. It could be worse guys, Chevelle's an okay name."
Joel: "Don't cry about it. It's all good."
"This is All Things Rock and I'm Benji, and this is MY show!!! ohhh yeah, and this is my little helper Joel"
- Benji
Benji: (reading post) "Do you guys read actual posts or do the writers give you something?' .Do you think that we're puppets? I don't make this stuff. Some kids wrote these things on the message boards."
Joel: "This show can't afford writers." Benji: "Do you think I write these? Here, listen. 'Benji is hot.' 'Benji is god.' 'ATR rocks.' 'Benji is cool.' I don't think I write these. We are not puppets!"
Joel: "No more posts for you. (snatches posts from Benji)"
Benji: (talking about No Doubt's video game) "I'm buying that one."
Joel: "I got Play Station 2 (points at Benji), he's got X-Box."
Benji: "Billy and Paul bought me X-Box. I think they just got it so they could play with it though."
Joel: "Yeah. Thanks guys, Billy and Paul. We love you guys. Anyways."
Benji: (reading post) "Some nice person decided to post a little poll on who should get fired, me or Joel. A little contest of something."
Joel: "This should be funny."
Benji: "Yeah. Well, 1% says that Joel should get fired."
Joel: "Ha ha ha."
Benji: "1% says that I should get fired. That's 2%. The other 98% of people say that we should both get fired, that we suck, we don't know what we're doing, we don't belong on MTV, we're no good. We look bad."
Joel: "OK, OK!!"
"The screen name is GoodCharlotte7." - Joel
"I like it so far I like it." - Benji
"First of all I think Good Charlotte rocks and I love the first CD." - Joel
"Yes keep going." - Benji
"I can't wait until October 1 when you're new CD The Young and The Hopeless comes out." - Joel
"You know it's funny she should say that, we have a cd coming out October 1 called The Young and The Hopeless, and uh ya know you should check it out." - Benji
"Are you ever in your career coming to Alaska?" - Joel
"I should hope so and another band that might come to Alaska is Default, and we should hope they go to Alaska." - Benji
"I sort of feel like when people compare me to Joel even though we're twins it's like kicking me in the face and then punching me." - Benji
"Well when people compare me to you it's-" - Joel
"Let's play the video." - Benji
"Satan has a sister and she's a fan of ours?" - Benji
"Be quiet, this gets serious." - Joel
"The asthma attacks are probably pretty frequent, in hell. We're sorry that Satan’s your sister." Benji
*What to wear at festivals*
Joel: "Bikini tops!"
Benji: "You've got to show off that stomach"
Billy: "Board shorts"
Benji: "A Turtleneck and a dress that goes to her ankles. And a veil and gloves"
Joel: "If its raining, a white t-shirt. Read the weather - if it says rain, white is always the way to go"
Benji: "I go to take a drink of my uh, "apple juice" and uh as I'm you know…drinking it, I realize everyone's laughing and it's, it's kind of warm."
Joel: "And it's not so satisfying."
Benji: "I drank PISS!"
Joel: "That's right! He drank urine! Pee-pee water! Fluid wastes! He drank it!"
Benji: "I am an idiot ladies and gentlemen!"
Benji: "I just want to say the disclaimer. That we are not funny guys and everything we've said is probably."
Joel: "LIES"
Benji: "Gonna make you not want to be our fans. So we apologize for this really weird interview, and awkward things we've said."
Joel: "And I wanna apologize for us, being in your country and disrupting your way of life. I'm sorry."
Benji: "Is this ummm awkward for any of you?"
Joel: "Are you guys awkward? [Talking into the camera]"
Benji: "I feel a little awkward. Ok."
Benji: "Five, four, three, two, one." (After one Benji sticks up the finger.) Joel (amazed): "You can count!"
Joel: "I know what else can make you grow"
Benji: "What else can help make you grow?"
Joel: "Green beans and broccoli and carrots!" (Smiles)
Joel: "Welcome back to All Things Rock!"
Benji: "Welcome back to All Things Rock!"
Joel: (sighs) "Ohhh yeah. He’s not funny is he?"
Benji: "There’s no way that can be true, we all know I hook up with dudes."
Joel: (gives weird look)
Benji: "It's all a lie."
Benji: "You know what? There's nothing wrong with making out with a girl here or there on the road."
Joel: "It's funny cause this is true."
Benji: "Alright, Let's play the video, The Donnas, 'Who Invited You'."
Joel: (turns to Benji)" Who invited you?" (laughs) "Clever!"
Joel: "I'm Joel, this is Benji."
Benji: "Yep!"
Joel: "He's my brother."
Benji: "Yep!"
Joel: "We're in a band called Good Charlotte."
Benji: "Yep!"
(Sydnie is a friend of GC's)
Sydnie- "Ya know you're so cute" *scratches Joel behind the ear*
Joel- "Woof Woof" *leg kicks like a dogs*
*Sydnie laughs*
*Benji lays down on the floor and pulls his shirt up*
Benji- "Scratch my bellaaaaaaay"
*Sydnie pinches Benji in the butt*
"Sydnie that hurt. Turn around now it's your turn"- Benji
"She did that to me too, bro."- Joel
"Oh so you're into the Madden asses?"- Benj
"yah can't get enough of em"- Sydnie
"I don't blame you"- Joel and Benji, same time
*both moon Sydnie*
*Interviewer: Cloe*
Cloe- "You two need a show on MTV"
Benji- "Oh ya. You mean another one?"
Cloe- "You don't host TRL all the time dude"
Joel- "We have a show"
Cloe- "Sure sure"
Benji-"You need to watch more television stupid"
Joel- "Yea!! Well anyways, It's called ATR"
Benji- "Stupid. *pauses*"
Joel and Benji- "Stupid ass biatch"
"You know what’s funny?" -Joel
"Yes" -Benji
"Okay tell me then" -Joel
"Umm your face" -Benji
"Ding ding ding you loose" -Joel
"So what? I know I am a loser." -Benji
"Just playing"- Joel
(whispers not really)
Benji: (introducing lifestyles video) "I feel like such an asshole for introducing our video."
Joel: "Benji, you are an asshole."
*Cloe is simply a GC Interviewer*
Cloe: "So, do you guys ever pull any pranks on the tour bus or in the hotel rooms?"
Joel: "Yes, I remember the ever famous lip ring flush prank. Let's let Benji tell you about it"
Benji: "Yes, I will tell"
Joel: "No I will"
Benji: "Fine then"
Joel: "So, I wanted to piss my brother off, right? So I record the toilet flushing and a metal thing that was tiny hitting marble (I hit a fork on the sink) and then I hid in the bathroom and played that and was like "whoops there goes Benji's 90 dollar new lip ring his friend July bought him"
Benji: "Yea I ran in and slapped him and was like 'You're diggin in the sewage to get that'.
Joel: "Then I just pulled the lip ring out of my pocket and laughed"
Benji: "Haha, I was "Punk'd"
Joel: "Yea, that would suck to be on that show"
"Go Benji, it's your birthday. Wait if it's your birthday it's my birthday too!" - Joel
(Benji laughs) "I was being serious dude"-Joel, making mad face
"Oh no I pissed the ghetto twin off" - Benji
"Don't make me go kung fu on you punk twin" - Joel (Benji makes karate noise)
"Don't really hit me bro" - Joel
*Benji & Joel On All Things Rock*
Benji: "Actually Amy Lee says she stays away from many foods such as chili, peppers, and onions so her voice stays clear. Also, she stays away from poo."
Joel: "No poo kids. Wanna record deal? No poo!"
Benj: "She drinks a lot of warm water too"
Joel: "That works"
Benji: "So here's the Evanescence video, 'Bring Me To Life'. and remember no eating poo."
"Benj is violent"- Joel
"Yup once you graduate high school and then rehab it all goes downhill" - Benj
"Yea he needs to be locket up and hand cuffed"- Joel
"I would enjoy being cuffed"- Benj
"Uh huh fetish?"- Joel
"Yup I just love being punished"- Benj
"Thats why you were so sad when I quit slapping you"- Joel
"Uh sure I guess" - Benj
Joel: (talking about the Evanescence "Bring Me To Life" video) "Benj remember when you were holding that girl over ledge and you dropped her?"
Benji: "I would never.(realizes the question) No. No!"
Benji: "Yeah so me and Stevo (Sum 41) were prank callin Joel one night. He was so psyched cause he thought it was some chick."
Joel: "That was you?"
Benji: (laughs and keeps talking)
Joel: ".but we had phone sex."
"Evanescence is hanging on at number two again" - Joel
"Amy Lee, Amy Lee, Amy Lee" - Benji
"Thats right she's in her nightgown, shes falling" - Joel
"Bring me to life is the song " - Benj
"Yes" - Joel
"Amy Lee's the singer" - Benj
"Wake me up" - Benj
"You notice how when hes like pulling her the dude, the rapper dude is pulling her up. On the, the thing. And you can." - Joel
"I won't let ya fall" - Benj
"I won't let ya fall" (Benj saying this when Joel's talking) "and her like nightgown and its like kinda showing her legs and your like wondering if you can see a little more and you keep kinda going like this into the TV (he kinda gets like hes looking at the TV) But ya don't and she falls" - Joel
"Amy I wouldn't let ya fall girl ya know this right" - Benj
"You gotta hold on" - Joel
"Remember when that time a girl like uh Called you a girl?" - Benji
"No"- Joel
"If I could pick my wife by name, It'd be Whitney. That name just sounds right"
- Joel Madden of Good Charlotte 2002
Benji: (to Paul) "Hey Paul" (slaps Paul in the head)
Paul: "Oww!!"
Benji: "Pain is love man pain is love!" *laughs*
"Once Joel fell off the stage" -Benji
"ANYWAYS. on to our ne-" (Benji cuts him off) - Joel
"It was his most embarrassing moment EVER." - Benji
"No dude. YOUR my most embarrassing moment!" - Joel
Interviewer: "Who's the best kisser?"
Benji: "That would be me!"
Joel: "I've never kissed him so I don't know."
"I don’t have a last name. My Last Name is Punk Rock." - Benji
"My last name is sex. S-E-X." - Joel
Benji: (staring at Billy) "Dude what’s with your hair!"
Billy: "Nothing. Mr. Leopard head!"
Benji: "Dude my hair is better then yours GRR!" *laughs*
Joel:" When you jam onstage. like when you move your head side to side. you look like a bobble head!"
Benji: "Yeah man, lets be trendy and make GC Bobble heads" (wiggles head)
Joel: "Nahh man"
Interviewer- "What is your favorite girl name?"
Joel- "I think it would have to be Abby."
Benji: "Those guys are rich!"
Joel: "That's not all that matters, Benj."
" Benji: "Fame and money."
Joel: "Shut up, enough alright."(while laughing)
Fan: (to Benji) "Is it true that you are learning Italian?"
Benji: "Yes"
Fan: "Soo, Quando e il tuo compleanno?"
Benji: "l mio compleanno e il. Joel, when’s our birthday?"
Benji and Joel: "Dildo Baggins!"
"Some guys only like girls cause they've got big fake boobies." - Benji (Joel is practically crying with laughter when he says this, Paul and Billy are also laughing, Benji's trying not to.)
"Yeah, and some girls only like guys cause they have nice cars.(giggles) and we think that's stupid!"
- Benji, on UK Music show, Top of the Pops
Joel: "That was our video for 'The Young And The Hopeless'" *pauses* "I had nothing to do with that."
Benji: "Yes that would be dishonest."
*Benji and Joel stuff C.D.s and albums under their shirts*
Benji: "We would never do anything dishonest."
Joel: "Hi I'm Joel. I sing."
Billy: "I'm Billy and I play guitar"
Benji: "I'm Benji and I play"
(Talking about "Girls And Boys)":
Benji: "You can do a lot of things to that song. I've tried"
Billy: "I've witnessed"
Interviewer: (to Billy) "You kissed an old person in the video? Did you like it?"
Benji: "Was it tantalizing?"
Paul: (to Benji and Joel) "You guys are fucked up"
Billy: "Yeah you guys are mean to us"
"Hey look my spit is Frappucino colored!"
- Joel
Benji: "Joel you're the R. Kelly of our generation"
Joel: "That’s disgusting, what’s that supposed to mean?"
(Benji seemed rather pleased with himself and Joel just seemed disgusted)
Joel: "The best thing about being famous is you get free stuff!"
Paul: "And free food!!!!!!!!"
Joel: "No Paul, YOU get free food."
Paul: "Ohh. oh yeah"
Benji & Joel on How Zack Davidson Sounds like the kid next door:
Benji: "Hey mom, can I go to Zack Davidson's house? Hey mom can Zack Davidson come to my birthday party?"
Joel: "Can we play T-ball? Zack Davidson's on the team."
Benji: "Hey mom, Zack Davidson's on my soccer team. Sounds like the kid next door."
Joel: "It's cool."
Benji: "Eh, Good Name, Zack Davidson."
Joel: "Benji Madden & Zack Davidson forever."
Joel: "We were nominated for a Grammy but we declined."
Benji: "Yeah, We said 'ya know what? keep your Grammy shove it. up your ass!"
Benji: "Hey, I like big guys ok"
Joel with a big grin: "Yeah he does."
Joel during a contest where girls are diving through bins of foam popcorn: "Hey that's kinda like Benji in the bathtub"
Benji: "And you would know how?"
Benji: "I don’t think there is anything wrong with being feminine"
Joel: "Benj, they should call you feminine."
Joel reading post: "This post comes from gcchick20."
Benji: "Joel’s old screen name."
Joel: "That was Linkin Park at #5 w/ Faint. Heard those guys were uh picking on us when they were hosting the day"
Benji: "Because they beat us at the #1 spot. Not this week though. Linkin Park is at #5."
Joel: "#5. It's not even a #2."
Benji: "More like stinky park."
Joel: "More like..."
Benji: "More like stinky fart. How bout that? (laughs) Huh? Linkin Park?"
Joel: "How bout Linkin smart?"
Benji: "Alright you're killing it. Now coming up speaking of stinky farts, Amy Lee (Joel laughs really hard) from Evanescence does her best Johnny Depp impersonation."
Joel: "I don't have any bad habits do I?"
Billy: "You do wear airplane socks!"
Joel: "Benji, your a dirty dirty man!"
Benji: "That’s what your mom said last night!"
Joel: "Eww man that’s sick! My mom is your mom!"
"I have this feeling guys, this feeling that I'm gonna marry a girl from Seattle." - Benji
"And I have a feeling, too. Know what my feeling is? That I'm gonna HATE a girl from Seattle for the REST of my life." -Joel
"Hey what are you doin those are my six" - Joel
"Since when did that stop me before?" - Benji
*Joel hits Benji in the head and runs away!*
"Sorry if I spit on ya'll... I kinda have a problem with doing that..." - Joel
"Ya, you guys should go to the doctor if he does cause he has um...uh.... hepatitis A ....or something.."- Benji
Billy: "Do you ever think about saucepans?"
Joel: "Saucepan? Um...no"
Billy: "Me neither..."
Benji - "The other day we were eating chocolate cake and I put poop in Billy's and he ate it"
Billy - "It tasted the same to me"
Interviewer- "So the chocolate just covered it all up"
Benji - "Yup!!"
Joel: "I got a picture of me, Benj and Sam holdin this snap thing" (slapping his hands together)
Benji: "Yeah I wanna be a director what’s that slappy thing called? Slate, yeah" (laughing and slapping hands together)
Joel: "Shut up!"
Benji: "Just kiddin'"
Billy: "Yeah And For Lifestyles Sam would always give us a video postcard with something new added to it."
Paul: "Yeah and every time it would just be a new way for him to talk like on one he was all like oh oh hey guys and just a weird way for him to start talkin' and just talk and talk and talk."
- GC DVD
(Good Charlotte playing a show in grand rapids)
Benji: "We got any riot girls in here"
(crowd screaming)
Benji: "No I don’t think we have any"
Joel: "Everybody say 'shut up Benji, we love Joel!'"
(crowd says it)
Benji: "I'm hurt now"
Joel (pretending to eat cereal): "Benj eating lucky charms....thinking"
Benji (laughs): "Thats Joel's favorite bit in the video" on talking about the Motivation Proclamation video.
Joel: "...And this is the 97' album Nimrod"
Benji: "Hey that’s the year I graduated high school."
Joel: "Yes it is."
Benji: (looks at camera) "See told you I graduated"
"Oops, I didn't mean to hit you Joel...but I'm glad I did"
- Benji said to Joel after punching him by accident Joel: "What’s that little slappy thing called?"
Benji: "Clap board ...."
"I don't know what a lot of this is," Joel says.
"Hey, what does caviar taste like?" Benji furrows his brow.
"This is the most expensive restaurant I've ever been in,"
Benji: "Joel, I wanna go."
Joel: "Hold on a minute."
Benji: "JOOOOOEL! I WANNA GOOOOOOO!" (stomps his feet cuz he wants to go to Disneyland)
"Do you like my hair?" - Benji to Emma and Lisa
"Yeah its cool" - Emma
"Yeah!" - Lisa
"I hate it!" - Joel, leaning his head shyly into Benji
"Yeah - he hates it!" - Benji, leaning towards Joel
Joel (at a store): "This store reminds me of the toys I played with when I was little."
Benji (at same store and time): "That's not all you played with."
"I got my first drum kit when I was 3," he says. "I don't know how musical it was, but I banged." - Dusty
Joel Quotes
"I was just in the middle of singing a song about how broke we were and now my cell phone rings."
"You need a life bro"
"You can only start a boy band if you kill one of the ones already out there."
"I think that our goal in Good Charlotte is just to be Good Charlotte, and whatever happens, whatever that means, we don't even know, we just push on and tour and make music and do whatever."
"We're all music fans and we just love being in a band, and that's why we do it."
"I'd do anything for him."
- Joel, talking about Benji in 10th grade, I kissed your girlfriend. But don't worry, I didn't like it. She used too much tongue."
-Joel, to Benji.
"I think Benj is a little bit more outgoing and in your face. I'm a little bit more reserved and quiet and conservative in some ways. Benj is wild, you never know what to except out of him. He's out of control sometimes, and that's the way he is and I love him for it. I wouldn't change one thing about him. We're just like Ying and Yang, me and him, like night and day sometimes. He's really outspoken and he says what he thinks right away. He's got strong opinions and he's very hard core about being um… he's not straight-edged, like he doesn't call himself straight-edged but he is just very extreme. Whatever he does is extreme and I'm not quite as much like that."
-Describing how him and Benji are different.
"I think the terrorists are just idiots."
"Tom Cruise is soooo dreamy!."
"I think we're a hair band now.
"Yes I'm pimpin' this jacket thank you very much!"
"You can call him Benjamin, that's what Mama calls him."
- Joel talking about Benji
"You all may love Canada, I hate Canada!"
"Go Bert, it's your birthday!"
"We love you all."
"This song is for the girls in [insert your town here], because they mess with your head."
"You were the one who gave me those boxers? I wondered where they came from, I wear those! Although I'm not a big fan of flannel, it gets a little hot down there, if you know what I mean."
I told him I backed into a parked car on the way to a show and he said.(laughs) "Are you okay?" "Okay, now who stole my wallet?"
"Good Charlotte is anger management teen angst."
"I don't want to see anyone leaving single tonight. I want everyone to leave impregnated."
"Music is supposed to be an escape. It's supposed to be somewhere you go, where you can be yourself, or be whatever you want to be."
"Look what you did, you just made me say bad ass Buffalo five times."
"Yes, I am pimpin' this coat, thank you very much."
"You can only start a boy band if you kill one of the other ones already out there."
"So I wanna see all of you making out during this song.
"It was the same thing, we stood in a room and picked! 'We want that guy!'"
(Singing Seasons) "Walking all along the. grass, ya told me, uh y'all I forgot the words."
"Anywhere on your leg is near the bone and that shit hurts." from hip online interview,
"Yeah, I hurt my finger, does anyone have a Band-Aid?
"Instead of going out and shooting people, why don't you go start a band."
Canadian Radio DJ: "Do you know who the prime minister of Canada is?"
Joel: "Boris Yeltsin!"
"We're definitely not jaded. We never really considered ourselves serious musicians who are changing music. We're just kids who wanted to be in a band."
"People think that I'm a really outgoing person because of how I am on stage. But I'm not. I'm really shy."
"This one's for all you Emo and skater kids, we know your sensitive" ( about Motivation Proclamation)
"I was in Menudo."
(when asked how touring has changed their lives) "I think you could say that we know more about the world, and we are now experts on the care and feeding of stinky, smelly socks." from soundbreak.com interview,
"We can't be responsible for our good fortune though," argues Joel. "Those people who shun us just because of the label we're on, or the fact that we've got a video out there that's getting us somewhere are only limiting themselves, because they aren't keeping an open mind."
"It's very clichéd to go, 'You're not punk.' We don't care if we are, and we don't care if we aren't,"
"I've flown across America, I've scaled fences, I've stood under windows and gone out of my way hundreds of times. I'm a hopeless romantic. There's no hope for me."
"See that? (blows air) Cold."
"Girls don't like boys, Girls like cars an money, Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny"
- Joel on 'Girls and Boys'
"Alright, stop this now. Gonna get. Gonna get all tear teary eyed."
"It's like a real party because they're all our friends. Let's see. Tony from Mest." (Tony smacks Joel on the face.) "Ow! That was Tony from Mest, and I'm gonna go kick his a** right now!" (He starts after him and there are some beeps.)
"Could it be anymore obvious that he was reading from a cue card!? He's like this the whole time" (looks back and forth from the cue card to the camera and mocks Benji*, "UH, RECENTLY."
"I put on pretty good sock puppet shows and I can mime."
"If I were in that pit I'd be making out with everyone of you!!"
"Plaques are cool"
"Good going Benj"
"Don't bite, ya know, don't bite!"
"A fan grabbed me and bit me on the back of my neck. bit me like blood, ya know"
"Let me straighten your box there (he straightens the box on Benji's Microphone)
"This song is about you and you and you!!!!! Hey you! Don't look at me like that!
- Joel on stage to fans in the crowd
"Beotch, act like you know!"
(On IMX)
"Look mom. I'm on TV."
- While performing 'The Anthem
"I don't know who told you that but I swear it only happened the one time. Plus, we do way crazier stuff than that!"
- Joel, On being asked about a prank involving wearing scary masks and terrorizing shoppers at a mall
"We're the nicest guys in the world."
"My mom always said that there would be haters. Not everyone can love ya"
"Having a little sister is cool, but what the worst part is having one."
"I played baseball, I was actually pretty good, the coach didn't think so but I was.
"The best thing is being really close. The worst thing is being really close."
†We just want kids to come to our concert and forget about everything"
"We've been together since the womb. We met in the womb."
"Go back to the circus.... FREAK!""
"That's 'sk8er' with an 8 and 'boi' with an I. Like totally!"
"I look for color, style, size, texture... thickness. The breatheability of a shirt."
"I want to see everybody square dancing" (That was at the concert I went to with my friend!!!)
"Go drink your hateorade kids!"
"Benji is the evil twin"
"I like getting toilet paper thrown at me."
When talking about their music video "Festival Song".
"Elijah Wood from Lord Of The Rings can't get married with a girl named Holly because it would make Holly Wood get it HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I like cheese"
"I didn’t get lessons of any kind I slept through school"
*Looks around nods head* "I like this place."
"I went to the doctor today, and I told them to stick the thermometer up my butt, just like my mom used to do."
- At the 9/26/03 Dayton concert
I want to feel lucky every night when I go onstage, and not feel like, 'Oh, great, here we go again."
"My poo came out in 3 different colors this morning!"
"Okay, now who stole my wallet?"
"You know, this is a pretty good opportunity to make out with a security guard. their not all assholes, their actually pretty nice to me"
"What the fuck are those clams?"
"I've sung to a girl under the stars."
"No offence guys but none of us are really that cool."
On fuse interview.
"They think I'm funny ma!"
"I love the name Jessica it reminds me of my ex who was hot"
"Damn girl, you don't have to pinch so hard, turn around, now it's your turn!"
"Benj, rock your body""
"Spank you Sharon Osbourne, Spank you very much!"
- Joel on the All Things Rock Countdown .
Benji Quotes
"Bonjour, biotch! Au revior, biotch!"
"Don't worry mom. I am still a virgin."
- Benji Madden [GC]. Friday October 4th 2002. [GC] hosting TRL.
"This is the make out song. Although you should ask the person first 'cause I've had some troubles with that before."
- Benji from GC, during 'Seasons'.
"1 egg, 1 sperm.2 babies!"
"I sell out every day. I say give me a five dollars and I'll give you a kiss."
"I fell off the stage and all my clothes fell off! And I wet my pants, but they fell off, so I couldn't wet them, so it must have been the kid standing next to me."
"You know who else likes making out? Sum 41. I know from first hand experience. Or. My friend does."
"I sell out everyday. I say: give me five bucks, and I'll give you a kiss."
"I don't know how your gonna take this, but Santa Claus isn't real, Bro."
-Benji to Joel.
"One time I ripped Joel's nipples off! One time I pierced Paul's butt cheeks together!"
"And me and Joel were thinking that we should change our band to be rap medal so we could be rich too. I'd buy 6 cars."
"Most bands break up after one record, or two--our second record is about to come out. We're not broken up! *Smiles*"
"You know, if one kid bought a record for every one kid that said I suck that’d be a lot of platinum records, man!"
Graffiti's good kids. Get out there!"
"Hey! You're watching All Things Rock, which is my show, and I'm Benji. *Looks at Joel* Aren't you glad I let you hang out sometimes?"
"We never thought we'd leave the basement!"
"We promised we'd let you guys ask us whatever you want today, just nothing too personal, my mom's watching. Yes Mom, I'm still a virgin!"
"My comment on it is, if you take the C off of Billy Corgan's last name, his name would be Billy Organ."
(on people complaining about the new Zwan cd screwing up their speakers)
"When I was 17 I liked anyone who gave me the time of day"
"They symbolize that I can do what I want. They ensure that I will never work a regular job."
(on his tattoos and piercings)
"Hey, guys, I have some bad news for you. We were backing out of the parking lot and I think we ran over Lil Bow Wow. Sorry, our bad!"
"This one time, Joel was too scared to ask a girl to a dance so he had me call her up and pretend I was him. And she said no and then she said, 'This isn't Joel, is it?' and I said, 'No it’s Benj!'"
"What's my official statement? My official statement is. that I've been wearing the same underwear for the past four days!"
"I haven't taken a shower in 4 days, I guess that makes me more punk."
"When we fight, it's not about things you think we'd fight about, like music. It's about like, I'll wear Joel's socks and he'll be like, 'Dude. dude. I told you not to wear my socks, dude. You know I like my socks. Benji. Dude, oh are those my boxers, too? Dude ooh Ohhh do you have to go there? Dude. dude!' And then we're, like, in the studio in this really important part of the song and I'll be like 'What do you think we should do?’ I don't care are those my boxers? DUDE!"
(on fighting with Joel)
"Hey, you guys wanna know Joel's middle name? Wanna know Joel's middle name? Joel's middle name is Reuben!"
"Getting beat."
- Benji (on his best childhood memory)
"State your position!"
"I have not showered in a week"
"Thanks to red wine, Bob, and to are parents to doing it"
"Joel, I don't tell you this enough but I love you, You've always been my best friend, and you always will be, you're the most talented, caring person I have ever met, I think you got the better half of the egg."
"I would like to thank my parents for doing it, the red wine, Burt Bacharach, candlelight, and the egg for splitting so I didn't have to be to lead singer."
"I hope my allergies don't act up"
"One time we went around the neighborhood and stuck all the mailbox flags up! Or, or there was this one time we drove up to fast food places, ordered tons of food, paid for it, then drove off before we got it."
"If I wasn't in the band, I'd be in jail!"
"We actually grew up Amish"
"Because I love you, because I care, because. BECAUSE .because you need clean socks!!"
"Keep representin GC, cause you know we're representin you!"
'I put rat poison in Billy's food one time"
"I'm going by Benjamin now. It sounds more mature."
"Joel is the innocent one"
" I will kiss you. I will make out with you. I will make out with anyone with boobies. Uhhh besides Paul of course. That's all in the past"
- Benji after Sydnie of Simply GC asked him for a kiss
"Yes-we are back. you thought those annoying VJs from that dumb band were gone-but NO-we're still here."
"If we sound like uneducated idiots, its because we are."
"Leave it to JC Chasez to bring back the mullet."
(on JC's video)
"Good evening boys and girls! Welcome to the Nutcracker. This is Rob Tim, I will crack your nuts. Today I'm going to teach you a little lesson about life, the Rob Tim way."
"This is Joel at the mall. 'Hey girl, who you with? You ever heard that song 'Little Things'? Yo, that's about me, girl. Awww yeah.'"
"Yeah, on our day off we went to Disney for our first time and Joel was like a little kid. He was like 'Come on guys we have to hurry to Space Mountain!' And this morning when I walked in the bathroom, I swear I heard him singing 'When You Wish Upon A Star.'"
"Black nail polish didn't come with testosterone."
"We don't really consider ourselves a punk rock band. Punk rock is supposed to be anti-clique, but these days, even punk rock has gotten cliquey."
"I got all the hoes!"
"Joel your gloves suck!"
"That's funny, we were just talking about sex!"
"That performance really moved me. I gotta go now."
"I have a confession to make: I love making out. it's fun and innocent. And besides, you can't get pregnant from making out."
"Uh. I like dogs. I have a dog. his name is Cash."
"They call me Benj, they call him Joel." from the interview from the Festival in Philly,
*Hands me the pen* "Can I pleeeeeaaaaassssseeeee have It?" *puppy dog face*
"Aww. Thanks, you get a hug for that!"
"Corruption? What's that? No, we probably corrupted each other."
"Someone call the fire department this one's out of control!" (said while shaking his hips back and forth) (He said this outside the club they played that turned into a dance club after and u could hear techno in the back HE WAS DANCING!)
"My ass smells like Joel."
"I was in a boy band once myself.
"Yeah of course, the boxers are yummy and it’s the bacon that gets the gals! No wait. its the other way around."
"Stop watching them making out!"
"Hey, guys. I have some bad news for you. we were backing out of the parking lot and I think we ran over Lil Bow Wow."
"We feel really lucky right now, especially because we're so young. We feel like we can do anything, nothing can hold us back, and we've got a lot of energy."
"I'm agoraphobic. I just want someone to love me."
(During "Seasons") "I'm really feelin' those lighters." (like Fred Durst in the song "Outside") ::silence:: "Oh, come on! That was supposed to be funny!"
"And we'll be the ugliest old couple alive, with our old tattoos and piercings and we'll still be having sex to no affects!"
*Pushes ring into Joel's cheek and watches it light up* "It's so purty!"
"This is a sweet song, it's for the guys of MXPX. Cause one night, I was having a real tough night, one of the guys from MXPX invited me on his bus. He helped me out a lot, yeah, he held me all night long."
"It must be real tough to be a punk rocker in Wisconsin, you get chased by rednecks and stuff."
"This one time, Joel was too scared to ask a girl to a dance so he had me call her up and pretend I was him, and she said no and then she said 'This isn't Joel is it?' and I said, 'No it's Benj!'"
"Tonight I'm spooning with Tom on my couch!" (referring to MxPx)
"I want all of you leave here pregnant!" (right before Seasons)
"We need wives or husbands so that we can stay in Australia." (During the Melbourne gig)
Interviewer: "Benji, with all your piercings have you got your 'Prince Albert' done?"
Benji: "Ahahahahahaha.(innocently) Who's Prince Albert?."
"That's surprising [that I smell good] seeing I haven't showered in. three weeks."
"You just cursed on the radio!" (Said to Joel.)
"Black nail polish didn't come with testosterone."
Benji: "For me?"
Person: "If you squeeze it, it sings the twilight zone song."
Benji: "Come here you get a hug!"
"I have a special heart in my place. I mean a special place in my heart for Avril. I am not good with words when it comes to girls!"
hosting at TRL
"I'm going to go walk into traffic"
"I hate you"
(Speaking to Joel)
"Joel's a girl. even mom said so"
"My girlfriend calls him Joely Moley!!"
"You know making videos kids" *PAUSE* "It's hard work" *PAUSE* "Have to do things like this" *PAUSE* "You might want to think twice before you" *PAUSE* "Start a rock band."
"If you got married to Curt Loader your name would be Suchin Loader."
- Benji to Suchin Pak of MTV News
"If you do a good job there will be cake and ice cream for everyone afterwards."
Interviewer: "Can you dance?"
Benji: " I can freak."
"Stay with us or we'll have our feelings hurt." - Benji while him and Joel make puppy dog faces
"Tonight's post it goes 'hey did anyone see Benji on Tuesday nights show he was scratching his ass at the end while Joel was talking, I can't believe he would do that on TV I thought it was funny'. You know you guys, I enjoy the posts I love reading the message boards but sometimes you just send in the weirdest stuff and let's try to ("for real" Joel in the background) yeah don't make up stories about me scratching my ass, let's get serious."
- Benji while scratching his ass
Benji: "Everyone say 'shut up Joel'
Crowd: "SHUT UP JOEL!"
"And now it's time for Joel to stop talking."
"Making out is all fun and games until someone swallows a tongue ring"
- Benji after being asked about making out by a fan
"Me? Fail English? That's unpossible!"
"Masturbation Pro-justification"
- Benj after being asked what his favorite song was that the band sings
"Everyone calls me a fag. That hurts me inside. I think the right word is a gay." (Laughs)
Benji: "But I am not gay all the way. I am a bisexual. I dig both kinds" (has serious look on face)
*Interviewer takes him seriously. * "How did that come about?"
"I wanna hump you right now dude NOW"
*interviewer freaks out*
*begins to hump his chair*
"That was nice" (laughs really hard)
Benji: "My last name is scum now say that 3 times fast."
Bradford: "BenjiScum. Oh my god"
"When you get pissed off and want to beat the shit out of someone. Take 3 deep breaths. Then punch them in the face"
"We don’t wanna quarrel with Disturbed that would be disturbing"
Joel: (talking about the Evanescence "Bring Me To Life" video)
Benji: "Yeah. I remember when I was holding a chick off a building and I dropped her it sucked."
"You all call me a pervert for joking around about having love with my brother well incest fits best and guys know what guys need"
- Benji after some chic asked why he was such a perverted poser
"One time at youth camp I shoved a gun in my ear. One time at youth camp I shoved a knife in my hand" - Benji
"One time oh my gosh why don't you just say shut up!?" - Benji **at a civic tour interview**
"Did you just say there's pimp juice? Haha that's nasty!
- Benji on TRL after Hillary introduced the next video
"I like your make-up"
- Benji to Liz at CD signing
".Kids should take pride in being different instead of trying to fit in because we'll never fit in."
ELLE girl interview
We're gonna go back stage and make a sandwich (Then he bobs his head side to side)"
- Benji on All Things Rock Countdown
"Benji's motto is uh to not have a motto!"
- Benji
{Riot girl playing in the background} "The only kind of girl I plan on settling down with is a punk rock chick. How many punk rock chicks are out there?" {All girls scream} "Its a beautiful thing"
"I'm the self-proclaimed member of the band, self proclaimed" (Laughs)
Interviewer: "What's the most romantic thing you two have ever done?"
Benji: "With each other?"
"POOP"
"When were 100 and butt ugly, we'll still be having great sex."
(On tour w/ NFG on stage at the patriot center)
"I want to grow old with my wife and have unstoppable sex"
"Wait til we go to commercial or until Joel starts talking. he goes on."
"Which means they're really rich and could buy me stuff."
(talking about Puddle of Mudd)
"You read dirty magazines."
(to Joel on ATR)
"We still got to do our calisthenics." *shrugs*
"Every morning I hear Joel singing 'wake me up inside'"
"How are we gonna piss anybody off if we're not sexist?"
Benji: (about Joel) "I'm the worst of the 2 just because he’s a nicer person"
Joel: "He's crazier than I am"
"I wanna ride on a magical piano"
(Talking about the Vanessa Carlton video)
"Let me put on my leather pants and unbutton my shirt, to appear younger."
"I may not have a dad but I have an awesome mom who gives me enough love for three dads"
"There's no room for Rock Stars in this band. What's cool about shitting on people?"
(Rolling Stone) May 2003
"You wanna know why we don't hug? It's because Joel won't touch me. He needs to use a Kleenex to open the bathroom door.
(when asked why they didn't hug)
"My teenage years have definitely left me with a very bitter, bad self-image. I don’t like myself. I don’t like anything I do. I don’t like my music. I don’t like anything. I enjoy playing music. I love being in a band. But if you put me alone in a room & make me look in a mirror it’s just it’s just not good enough. And we all feel that way."
"Uh, my name is Benji... I grew up in Waldorf. Single white male. Enjoys long walks on the beach. In search of someone sensitive and caring for conversation, friendship, possible serious relationship, coffee or a good book"
"When I meet girls I like, I throw up on them."
"So you can buy these at any craft store."
"This is the get better sign."
"My ass smells like Joel."
"Look! there's Joel! There's the other one!"
"Yeah, we got kicked out of a Limp Bizket concert....yeah, who's laughing now?"
"I'm agoraphobic. I just want someone to love me."
"I always got caught. One time, I actually got spanked for something Joel did."
"Hold on you can make fun of me when I'm done making my point."
"We actually grew up Amish."
"BEAT IT!!!!!!"
"And while were here in Orlando, we have to give a shout out to our buddies N*SYNC."
"She's so punk-y! (*shudder*)"
Benji talking about Avril Lavigne
"We rented a car while we are here at the studio and I already put a huge scratch in it."
"I like to rip tags off mattresses."
"I usually hit my head on the wall."
"Hooked on phonics worked for me."
"Nickelback, Default, Adema, ect., ect, make me want to stick a fork in my eye."
"I have to go do MY nails now."
"Positive, positive, everything is positive."
"Hi, were Crazytown and we suck!"
"Were all gonna run around naked and make animal noises."
"Were not the type of band that's too cool for school."
"Punk rockers have feelings to!"
"Corruption, what's that? No, we probably corrupted each other""
"Up my ass, literally"
(when asked where Joel is)
Benji to Joel after a sex scene in a movie: "How did you like that scene there brother?"
Benji on Joel wrestling in high school: "He just wanted to wear one of those tight uniforms."
Some girl: "This question is for Benji and Joel since your twins..."
Benji (cutting her off): "No we don't sleep together or shower together. We stopped doing that last week"
Interviewer: "Do you get along with the other band members".
Benji: "Not at all. They're all assholes. As soon as I find some other guys to replace them with they are out. Nah, were all friends, we all get along. Joel and I are best friends."
"Joel likes Legos" (Joel nods his head and smiles).
"When I have to settle down and get married you know I’m gonna have ta marry a punk rock girl. Well be 70 and listening to punk rock. We wont be able to hear each other, but well be listening to punk rock....and were gonna....well still have sex with viagra"
"On the old dog and bone"
- Benji on TRL UK
"You are watching Hard Rock Live, change the channel and you will die!"
"I'm really vein, I like to see myself on T.V."
"I must admit, I'm a gassy man."
"I am a video director, what's that slappy thing called?"
- Benji making fun of Joel
"3 years ago I was stocking shelves at Target, living on Ramen noodles, and crashing at Billy's house. Now I'm on tour"
(after someone proposed onstage): "Guess what they get to do ... They get to have SEX they get to have SEX!!!"
"BOOBIES!"
(to the mom): "So do your kids ever help with the cooking....I did, you help mom you get to lick the spoon..." (from Crashing with Good Charlotte)
"Your not part of that group for a reason, because your better than them."
"If I was sitting on the couch watching TV with a girl I really liked and that video came on, I would pretend I didn't know what it was."
- Benji about Little Things video
"I used to be a dancer for Lionel Ritchie...."
"Ekkk" -
"lalalalalala"
"Revalidating, its what the Earth does. It revolves and it rotates and its revalidating"
"Purr I’m a sex kitten"
"My old man, right Joel?"
"Erm, Joel I don't think they want to see that."
"Did you ever have food poisoning so bad that you are pissing out of your ass"
"This show's an important one...we gotta be really energetic-(sniffs)- I hope my allergies don’t act up"-Benji(he says this, and he sounds like he's wheezing, and has a stuffy nose)
*after a fan handed Benji a ring that lights up when you push it*
Benji runs over to Joel and pushes it into Joel's cheek- "Look Joel! It's So Pertty!!!"
"Good dog!"
(says to Cashdogg and rubs his head)
"I drank my own pee once"
"I must say I'm most inspired by my dog!"
"I'm moving to Sacramento tomorrow."
(at the Sacramento concert, on November 20, 2003)
'Yes, it's the greatest one hour of TV you'll ever see!"
"P.S. Benji is a better host than Joel."
- Benji reading a post
"It's a lot of fun, the Internet. I think it's gonna be big."
Interviewer: Would you ever consider turning in your instruments to learn choreography and become a boy band?
Benji: Umm. after you shot me in the head.
"Ballmart."
"Send Joel below"
"Uh uh, Uh huh, uh uh"
(while trying to write a song with Joel and Paul)
"There's no room for Rock Stars in this band. What's cool about shitting on people?"
(Rolling Stone) May 2003
Billy Quotes
"I'm scared of cops!"
"We spend a majority of the show after the playing just walking around the crowd and meeting kids. Kids are like 'Why do you do this?' And we all say, 'Well, if it wasn't for you guys, we'd be nothing.' It's like it makes sense to us just to hang out cause we like to."
"I don't really think there is such a thing as a band selling out."
"Do you know how much stuff it takes to make my hair stay up?!?!"
"Benji swears the song "wondering" is for Cashdogg"
"Every 5 minutes a hamster is getting brutally beaten with a stick"
- Billy Martin and his hamster!
"Where’s the peanut butter"
"I used to munch on Sunday, but now I munch on Saturday. Why Saturday instead of Sunday? Umm. foo (fool) because munching on Saturday is trendy! hehe"
"I'm a goody goody. I never do bad things"
"That's some good shit, I mean stuff"
"Picture? SURE!! You want a picture? Lets take a picture!!"
"People can call us sellouts, but I'm not selling out — I'm doing what I wanted to do since I was 13, and that's get on MTV and make videos and live the dream."
"I think that it is a great opportunity to see bands who pretty much the only reason they do this is to do the live show and perform for kids and just make you forget about all of the problems in your life, and just come to a show and just listen to music and don't think about anything else"
"Someday we will walk hand in hand down the rainbow all happy"
Person: "I saw your high school pictures."
Billy: "Oh god, don't go there."
"Look at Joel over here. He's got a camera attached to his bike." *PAUSE* "I can hardly even steer this thing on my own!"
"Getting ready ta ride some gangsta bikes."
"This song is for all the people who want to commit suicide. Well HOLD ON"
"I'm not famous. You're all just crazy!
"I have hamsters in my pants"
"I can juggle"
"It's also cool to pee your pants!"
- Billy said on the Fuse interview
"I think Benji has the coolest hair in rock"
""Princess!"
"Benji likes to match his hair with his underwear and we caught him in a pink thong once. We videotaped it"
"I don’t know what I had for breakfast today. It was like.......something with wood."
"Another thing I hate is when St. Paul (Paul of GC) touches my......never mind.
"What! There goes my heart walking down the street."
Person: "Hey Billy can ya sign my arm?"
Billy: "Sure thing sweetie!"
Another Person: "Hey Billy, can you sign my ass?"
Billy: "There will be no ass signing tonight. I’m sorry for the inconvenience."
"Why don’t you come in the picture it will be more special that way."
"Hey guys you ready for some rock and roll?"
"You don’t want to go near the inside of that, our van stinks!"
"Stand in front of a mirror with a dozen roses and you will see 13 of the most beautiful things"
"Yeah, me and Paul will take a picture with you. HEY PAUL! PAUL! Ok, he's not listening you'll just have to do for a picture with me"
"Nobody ever asks for a Billy hug. I guess Billy hugs aren't quiet as fun."
"I don't know what I had for breakfast today. It was like......something with wood"
Fan to Billy: "Can You sign my arm?"
Billy: "I'm sorry, they don't let us sign arms."
"Would any of you be offended if I left?"
- Billy on IMX interview
"Never eat peanut butter first thing in the morning... it starts to get gross and ewwwww"
"Asbury Park, New Jersey"
"I murdered Paul's whole family!"
"I want some peanut butter covered hamsters"
"Lets run away to Mexico and get married." (to Chris, DAMN!!!)
I would be Ken so I could be on top of Barbie all day"
"C'mon we have to move...the security here sucks (glares at the security guard & the security guard laughs)"
"I'm sitting beside you big guy (On sitting with businessmen on 1st class flights)"
"My names not Billy, it's Ballina!"
